Diary entries need to fulfil two different purposes simultaneously: one is to reveal the character to the reader, the other is to reveal the plot. The challenge is to convey information the reader needs to know that the narrator already knows in a way that allows the reader to suspend disbelief. The key is finding the right voice.
If the diary writer is in storytelling mode – wanting to tells things to an imagined confidante – you can get away with a minimal amount of exposition, and perhaps include dialogue, but only if it is in character for the diary writer to reflect on events that way, or to speak to an imagined other in that way.
If the diary writer is in venting mode, wanting a place of complete privacy to explore inner feelings, with no imagined reader, the writing has quite a different voice. It’s usually raw, informal, and often highly emotional. And there would be no room for exposition. You can still reveal important information, but you’ve got to embed it in an emotional response and make the tone believable.
Why include diary entries?
Giving a reader access to thoughts and feelings, and perhaps events, that other characters don’t have access to can help drive narrative momentum and dramatic tension. Diaries aren’t the only way you can do this – first person point of view offer the same access to the inner world of the narrator – so clarity is the key. Why do you want to use diary entries? What are their specific purpose? What are you wanting to show the reader that can’t be shown any other way?
Knowing your diary writer
Think about how your diary writing character operates in the fictional world. Why are they keeping a diary? When did they start? Why did they start? Do they write regularly? What prompts them to write in their diary? What do they put in their diary that they don’t share with anyone else?
Some writers use diary entries as an exercise to help them understand the character, to access a different level of their personality. These entries may be very useful to the writer in developing their work, but not needed in the narrative.
Getting the voice right
Read your diary entries aloud. Listen for the character’s voice. Is the character’s diary voice different to their speaking voice? Remember that we often write things for no-one else’s eyes that we might not say to others, so our language is likely to be less guarded.
Sometimes the voice is determined by the reason for the diary. For example, I worked with one writer who had a young male character writing a journal, and was struggling to find the right voice. Once she settled on him writing to his dead father when he had no one else to talk to about what was going on in his life, the voice flowed, the purpose was clear.
Keeping the story moving
It’s not enough to simply show the reader what a character is thinking and feeling about events that have taken place, diary entries need to keep the story moving forward. They must deliver key pieces of information to the reader, as well as sound like an authentic diary entry. What do you need the reader to know from the diary entry? How does that push the story along?
Remember, it’s fiction
Diary entries, like dialogue, attract attention to themselves, so use them only when they warrant that attention. Usually, the most effective diary entries are relatively short and to the point. While in real life a diarist may take a long time to warm-up to what they want to say, remember in fiction you are not trying to mimic real life, but to present a version of it that engages the reader.
If you are considering using diary or journal entries in your manuscript, dip into other novels that use this device and pay attention not only to what is said in the entry, and how it is said, but also to what is left out to make it sound authentic.